Book of Bad Words
by Dark Devil14
Summary: Cao Cao bought a book of words and is now teaching Wei to say them. The funny thing is, they don't know what the bad words really mean! Yes! I wrote the meanings wrong! I know what they mean!
1. Do You Like To?

Cao Cao: You guys! Look what I just bought!

Everyone turned to him

Xiahou Dun: What is it?

Cao Cao: It is a book!

Sima Yi: Why buy a book? I already know everything.

Cao Cao: No! It's a book that will teach us new words?

All: Really?

Xiahou Dun: And where did you get this _book_?

Cao Cao: I got it off a monk. He said that the writer was a teenage girl who wanted to teach her little brother words by easy definitions. He said that that girl was the smartest girl during her time! (Not ME! I don't have a little bro)

Sima Yi: heh! Oh really?

Cao Cao: Now! I skimmed it and there were a lot of words to learn! I want us to use these words, but to make it easier; we will use it day by day. So try not to really blow it ok?

All: All right!

Cao Cao: Ok here is the first word… "Fuck"...hmm…interesting?

Xiahou Dun: That's it?

Cao Cao read to everyone:

**Fuck**

(Verb)

It means, "kill"

Others are fucker (killer)

Fucking (Killing)

Fucked (Killed)

Example: (I like to kill) I like to fuck 

Everyone mumbled something.

Sima Yi: I want to fuck Zhuge Liang! I will fuck anyone who pisses me off!

Cao Cao: That's the spirit! See everyone! Sima Yi already has the idea!

Xiahou Yuan: Interesting…

Cao Cao: Now all of you scurry along and try to use "Fuck" instead of "Kill".

All: Yes Lord!

All of them went in different directions to do their thing.

**(In the kitchen)**

**Xu Zhu, Dian Wei**

Xu Zhu: There's nothing to eat here.

Dian Wei always adored Xu Zhu and never gets annoyed by his complaints about hunger.

Dian Wei: Go fuck a pig.

Xu Zhu: Wow! You are already using that word. Cool. Let me try! A hem! I will fuck any animal so that I can eat them!

Dian Wei: Good for you…

**(Out in the Garden)**

**Sima Yi**

**Cao Pi**

**Zhen Ji**

**Zhang He**

Sima Yi: hmm! I am beginning to like the word "fuck."

Cao Pi: Sure you do.

Zhen Ji: Ok! Anyone want to practice?

Zhang He: OH! I'll go first! I have fucked all of the people prettier than me!

Sima Yi: Shut Up!

Cao Pi: That's interesting.

Zhen Ji: So you're saying that I'm not as beautiful as you?

Zhan He: You got that right!

Zhen Ji: If you want it what way, I'll fuck Zhang He so I'll be more beautiful than him!

Sima Yi: Oh shut up about this beautiful stuff!

Cao Pi: That's because your not!

Sima Yi: Fine! Right after I fuck Zhuge Liang, you're next!

Cao Pi: I don't think so! I have fucked over 5,000 people and I don't think you would like me to fuck you too.

Sima Yi: Oh shut up!

**(In the Main Halls)**

**Cao Cao**

**Xiahou Dun**

**Xiahou Yuan**

Xiahou Yuan: That is a very interesting book!

Cao Cao: This will teach us new words, so we won't have to use the boring ones.

Xiahou Dun: Like what?

Cao Cao: Like kill…fuck is way more cooler!

Xiahou Dun: Your right, and don't like to fuck, I love to fuck!

Xiahou Yuan: But isn't fucking a bad thing if it one of our men?

Cao Cao: Oh shut the fuck up!

Xiahou Dun: You used fuck wrong my cousin.

Cao Cao: Your right! I will fuck myself if I do it again!

Dun & Yuan…really?

Cao Cao: YEAH RIGHT!

**(Outside Somewhere)**

**Xu Huang**

**Zhang Liao**

**Cao Ren**

**Pang De**

Xu Huang: What will make me remember the work kill is just say fuck all the time.

Other Three: DURR!

Pang De: If I get fucked, I will always have my coffin right next to me!

Cao Ren: Good practice! I fuck people with fire.

Zhang Liao: I fuck them with my body!

Xu Huang: So you body slam them?

Zhan Liao: Yup!

Xu Huang: I fuck them with my axe!

Other Three: We know!

Xu Huang: I'm just practicing!

Pang De: Fuck! Fuck! I love to Fuck!

Cao Ren: Hey! That's a good idea! Let's all say that to remember it!

All 4: Fuck! Fuck! We all love to Fuck!

Then suddenly the 4 from the garden came by.

All 4(garden): We heard you the first time!

Zhang Liao: We were just practicing. Wanna join us?

Sima Yi: NO WAY! These 2(pointing to Zhen and Zhang) have been arguing about being beautiful.

Pang De: They are beautiful!

Sima Yi: Oh shut up!

**OK! How was it? Review and tell me! Thanks! **

**Oh! If you have any suggestions for any cuss words, tell me on the reviews.**

**Tell me the word, and tell me what it means…just in case I don't know….**


	2. I Am A?

**Day two:**

Everyone went to Cao Cao's quarters to get ready for the next word of the day.

Cao Cao: I hope everyone enjoyed the work "fuck."

All: uh…huh…. whatever

Sima Yi: This word better not be something about beautiful crap.

Zhang He: hehe

Cao Cao: Ok? Let's see…today's word is… "Slut".

Xiahou Dun: Meaning…?

Cao Cao:

Slut 

(Noun)

Meaning: A Beautiful Women

Slutty- A bit Beautiful

Example: (I wish I was a beautiful woman) I wish I were a slut.

Sima Yi: You have got to be kidding me!

Zhang He and Zhen Ji: YAY! MY KIND OF WORD!

Xiahou Dun: GOD! Why can't it be like a combat word?

Cao Cao: There are probably more in the book but we're just not there yet.

Xiahou Yuan: When are we ever going to use those words?

Cao Cao: I don't know, battle? Ok whatever! Go and get smart.

All: (mumbling)

Cao Cao: Ok! We WILL use them in battle! As code words, so the enemy won't know our plan or what we are saying.

All: aw…..

**(Laundry Room)…I don't think they ever had one in history**

**Zhen Ji, Cao Pi**

Zhen Ji: Do you think I'm a slut?

Cao Pi: Of course I do. Why do you think I married you?

Zhen Ji: Because I'm a slut?

Cao Pi: Yup!

Zhen Ji: A slut with a lot of money?

Cao Pi: Yup!

Zhen Ji: So you married me because I'm a slut with a lot of money and later, your going to divorce me so you can have half of that money?

Cao Pi: YUP!

Zhen Ji: (angrily) That's so sweet!

Cao Pi: You're welcome slut…

**(Library)**

**Cao Cao, Sima Yi**

Cao Cao: So, who do you think is a slut?

Sima Yi: Your mom…

Cao Cao: What!

Sima Yi: What? I said your mom was a slut.

Cao Cao: Is that an insult!

Sima Yi: No…I really met your mom! She was a real slut!

Cao Cao: Oh…are you sure…

Sima Yi: Yes my lord.

Cao Cao: Oh…thank…well your mom is slutty.

Sima Yi: I know huh? She is slutty, but not a slut.

Cao Cao: And you got her genes.

Sima Yi: WHAT!

Cao Cao: HAHAHAHA!

**(Living room)…or the Main Room…whichever**

**Zhang He, Pang De**

Zhang He: So? You're new?

Pang De: Yes, I am…only to DW5…I was there with all of you guys, but now, I'm a playable character.

Zhang He: Didn't you serve under Ma Chao before?

Pang De: Yes…

Zhang He: Were there a lot of sluts in that army?

Pang De: NO! I wish!

Zhang He: Oh…I'm sorry, but it's ok! We have a lot of sluts here!

Pang De: The only one is Zhen Ji.

Zhang He: And me!

Pang De: You're not a woman…

Zhang He: Are you sure? (Laughing Evily)

Pang De: … OMG!

Zhang He: Surprise surprise!

**(Horse Stable)**

**Zhang Liao, Xu Huang**

Xu Huang: Why are we at the horse stable?

Zhang Liao: So I can show you whom I think is a real slut.

Xu Huang: A horse?

Zhang Liao: yes…

Xu Huang: But that isn't a woman

Zhang Liao: But she is a girl

Xu Huang: There is a big difference you know…

Zhang Liao: Well! Here she is!(showing him a horse)

Xu Huang: Are you sure…?

Zhang Liao: Yup! Ain't she a beauty?

Xu Huang: Umm…no…

Zhang Liao: And why not!

Xu Huang: She's made out of plastic…

**(Xu Zhu's Room)**

**Xu Zhu, Dian Wei**

Dian Wei: Slut?

Xu Zhu: Yes! Beautiful women!

Dian Wei: I hope I get married to a slut.

Xu Zhu: I know you will.

Dian Wei: I hope so…what about you? Don't you want a really strong slut?

Xu Zhu: I don't want a strong slut…I want a slut fatter than me so I can make fun of her and so people could stop calling me fat!

Dian Wei: Well…you are fat…

Xu Zhu: (crying) Shut the FUCK UP!

**(Somewhere having tea)**

**Xiahou Dun & Yuan, Cao Ren**

Xiahou Dun: This is stupid! I don't like "slut"

Xiahou Yuan: So you rather have an ugly girl?

Cao Ren: You must be crazy!

Xiahou Dun: No! I mean the word "slut!" Couldn't it be like a battling word?

Cao Ren: There will be later…just wait…pamper your eye or something…

Xiahou Dun: …

Xiahou Yuan: I still wonder why we have to study these words!

Cao Ren: DynastyWarriors wants to be funny.

Xiahou Dun: Is "slut" supposed to be funny?

Cao Ren: Well…this story...not the words…

Xiahou Dun: …bastard!

Xiahou Yuan: I heard that she might write about us going to battle using these words later in the end.

Xiahou Dun: Really?

Xiahou Yuan: Might!

Xiahou Dun: And how do you know?

Xiahou Yuan: I was stalking her…

Cao Ren: And you didn't take me?

Xiahou Yuan: I was afraid that you might have been too short for you to see through the window.

Cao Ren: ….jackass…

**Ahhh….yeah?…got ideas?**

**Give me a cuss word and the meaning on the reviews if you do…**

**Are any of you "Sluts"? haha…I don't think so…**


	3. Are You My?

Crazy Cindy14: "This word suggestion was from Z Star The Hidden Dragon"

(Actually, I had this word in mind, but you just suggested it to me…oh well)

"Devil-Sima Yi, your gonna joke around with this word too huh?" -Greatest Fan to ever exist right?

As I was writing…

* * *

**(Day Three)**

Cao Cao: Hehe…so? Did anyone enjoy the word "slut?"

All but Zhang He and Zhen Ji: NOOO!

Zhen Ji: I enjoyed it…

Zhang He: Me too…

All: SHUT UP!

Xiahou Dun: Just give us the next word!

Cao Cao: …o…k? The next word is…. "Bitch"…

Bitch

(noun)

Meaning: A person who you take most interest in

Bitches-more than one person

Example: You are my favorite person! (You are my Bitch)

(I know this is a very bad example.)

Xiahou Dun: What the….hell!

Cao Cao: Your bitch can be your enemies now shut up!

Zhang He and Zhen Ji: I know who my bitch is! (looking at Sima Yi and Cao Pi)

Sima Yi and Cao Pi: What?

Cao Cao: Now get the hell out of here!

(**In the same Room)**

**Zhang He, Zhen Ji, Sima Yi, Cao Pi**

Sima Yi: How can I use this word if I don't have one?

Zhang He: I can be your bitch!

Zhen Ji and Cao Pi: hehehe…

Sima Yi: SHUT UP! This fool is never going to be MY BITCH!

Zhang He: aww….but whatever! You're MY Bitch.

Sima Yi: You sick son of a bitch!

All: (gasp)

Sima Yi: WHAT! I..I… said he was a sick person who likes people.

Zhang He: AWW! Don't hide your feelings!

Sima Yi: SHUT UP!

Zhang He: What about you two?

Zhen Ji and Cao Pi: Isn't it obvious?

Zhen Ji and Cao Pi: My bitch is…(Zhen- my Mom)…(Cao Pi- my wife)

Cao Pi: WHAT?

Zhen Ji: Oh…sorry…I love my mom more than you…is that ok?

Cao Pi: ahhH? (Angrily) yeah…it's all right…is it ok if I change who I think is my bitch…

Zhang He: Of course you can!

Cao Pi: My bitch is my dad!

Zhen Ji: Sure...just because I said my Mom...doesn't mean that you can change it to your frekain Dad...besides..we all know you hate him.

Cao Pi: Fine! I take back everything I said about you being a slut!

Zhen Ji: Sure..we all know that you think your Dad is a slut...

All:(laughing)

Cao Pi: Shut UP!

**(In the Kitchen) **

**Dian Wei, Xu Zhu **

Dian Wei: Why am I always paired up with you?

Xu Zhu: Because we are special!

(no they are not)

Xu Zhu: Am I your bitch?

Dian Wei: My ask me?

Xu Zhu: Because you and I are always hanging around and..you know...

Dina Wei: Am I your bitch...? (asking Xu Zhu)

Xu Zhu: I guess...

Dian Wei: Than the answer is no...

Xu Zhu: NOOOOOOO!(crying)

(fatass crybaby...haha)

**(Hooters)**

**Xu Huang, Cao Ren, Zhang Liao,Xiahou Dun, Xiahou Yuan, Pang De, Cao Cao**

Cao Cao: Well what do you know? Everyone ends up at Hooters

Cao Ren: Why is that?

Xu Huang, Zhang Liao, Pang De: My bitch is here!

Cao Cao: Xiahou Dun, I thought you didn't like this place, why did you come?

Xiahou Dun: I was following Yuan and I ended up here.

Xiahou Yuan: I told you I was going to a place you wouldn't like.

Xiahou Dun: I take risks!

Cao Cao: As long as you don't complain about the word "Bitch."

Xiahou Dun: The ememies Wu and Shu are my bitches!

Cao Cao: We all know!

Meanwhile...

Xu Huang: That's my bitch right there(Pointing to a girl with green underclothes)

Pang De: She's nothing! That's mine!(pointing to a Goth)

Zhang Liao: Ew! You got bad taste! Look at mines!(pointing to a blond girl carrying a plate of beer)

Xu Huang and Pang De: You suck!

...yeah...

Cao Cao: Why are you here?

Cao Ren: To look at all the women that I think are my bitches.

Xiahou Yuan: The short ones...

Cao Ren: Your short too you know!

Xiahou Yuan: I'm taller than you by 2 inches!

Cao Ren: Your still short...

Xiahou Dun: I'm getting out of here!(leaves Hooters)

Cao Cao: Oh well...

Xiahou Yuan: My Lord, who is your bitch?

Cao Cao: My son...Cao Pi...

Xiahou Yuan: But he hates you...

Cao Cao: I know...and that's why!

Cao Ren: I don't get it...

* * *

**Congratulations! You are all my BITCHES! Especially some people...all my fans out there..if I got any?**

**Like again...any Bad Word you like to request?**


	4. Are You A?

**You (Reader) and Me will be in this one…for some reason?**

**(Day Four)**

Xiahou Dun: Don't even say if we enjoyed the word "Bitch" Cao Cao! Just get on to the next word.

Cao Cao: GEZZ! Slow down! I'm just doing my job.

Xiahou Dun: OK! Fine! I still don't feel comfortable about Bitch.

Cao Cao: SHU and WU! OK? Shut Up!

Xiahou Yuan: Just get on to the next word!

Cao Cao: Thank you for asking NICELY!

Xiahou Yuan?

Cao Cao: The word of the day is…Jack…ass…Jackass…

All: What?

Cao Cao:

Jackass

Meaning: A Person Who Loves/Likes to Fight

Example: I love to fight, so I am a jackass.

Xiahou Dun: Now this is better!

Cao Cao: Happy now!

Xiahou Yuan: I think he is.

Xiahou Dun: MUHAHAHAHA!

Sima Yi: That's my line you freak!

Xiahou Dun: MUHAHAHAHA!

Sima Yi: Eyeless…

Xiahou Dun: …!

Sima Yi: MUHAHAHAHAHA!

**(Kitchen)**

**Xu Zhu**

Xu Zhu: Dian Wei left me because he doesn't want any of you to think we are together.

(You): aww…(joke)

Xu Zhu: I don't love or like to fight, so does that make me a jackass?

(You): Yes.

Crazy Cindy14: Of course!

Xu Zhu: Thanks! I am now a jackass!

(You) and Crazy Cindy14: Good for you.

**(Dining Room)**

**Dian Wei**

Dian Wei: There is nothing between me and Xu Zhu ok! I'm just helping him because he's too fat to do anything.

(You): Uh…huh…?

Dian Wei: It's true!

Crazy Cindy14: Ok whatever! Are you a jackass?

Dian Wei: Of course I am! I love to fight!

Crazy Cindy14: And love to help Xu Zhu?

Dian Wei: …shut up…

**(Halls)**

**Sima Yi, Zhang He**

Sima Yi: Crazy Cindy14! Why am I paired up with him!

Crazy Cindy14: It's cool…and cute

(You): Most of us like you with Zhang He.

Sima Yi: You'll all pay for this…!

Crazy Cindy14: A hem! JackASS!

Zhang He: I don't love or like to fight! So that doesn't make me a jackass! but I do love Sima Yi!

Sima Yi: I'm a strategist, not a fighter! I love to think but not fight!

(You): Duuurrr….!

Crazy Cindy14: You mean ' I love to think about Zhang He.'

Zhang He: You really like me?

Sima Yi: Don't be a fool!

Zhang He: But everyone likes us! TOGETHER!

Sima Yi: ERRRRRRR!

Zhang He runs away…

Sima Yi: LOOK WHAT MY ANGER DID! WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?

(You) and Crazy Cindy14: Because you're cool? And smart?

Sima Yi: WHAT! IS THAT AN INSULT?

We all run shouting : We love you! (Just like Jackasses) don't get offended.

**(Cao Cao's Quarters)**

**Cao Cao, Cao Ren, Xiahou Yuan, Xiahou Dun**

Cao Cao: So? All of my relatives are here?

All: Uh…huh..

Crazy Cindy14: Sad isn't it?

All: (gasp)

Xiahou Dun: What are you doing here?

Crazy Cindy14: Me and some of my fans are here just to…you know…talk.

Cao Ren: About?

(You): All of you.

Xiahou Yuan: Why?

Crazy Cindy14: UH! Just forget it! Soo? Who's a jackass?

Cao Cao, Cao Ren, Xiahou Dun, and Xiahou Yuan: ME!

(You): Isn't that obvious?

Crazy Cindy14: Only Xiahou Dun…

Xiahou Dun: What? I really! LOVE! TO! FIGHT!

(You) and Crazy Cindy14: We all know you jackass!

Xiahou Dun: Thanks…

Cao Cao: Wait! Why aren't we obvious?

Crazy Cindy14: Well…because you're the leader, and you don't tend to fight a lot. Cao Ren is just a bodyguard, and Xiahou Yuan? Ahh? Got anything?

(You): He just fights when ever possible. It's not so sudden that he does…

Crazy Cindy14: Yeah…what they said.

Xiahou Yuan: I…go far distance…that's why! I use arrows

All: We all know!

Cao Ren: I'm not that big of a bodyguard…

Crazy Cindy14: (whispers to you) Not that big? He's freakin short!

(You): haha…yeah…

Cao Ren: I heard that you know!

You and Crazy Cindy14: RUN!

**(Xu Huang's Place)**

**Xu Huang, Zhang Liao, Pang De**

(You): What are you all doing n Xu Huang's Room?

Zhang Liao: Comparing our weapons…

Pang De: What are YOU doing in Xu Huang's Room?

Crazy Cindy14: To ask you if any of you were Jackasses.

Xu Huang: I am a BIG JACKASS!

(You)..lol…the hell

Zhang Liao: I am a BIGGER JACKASS!

Crazy Cindy14: You must be…

Pang De: YOU ALL KNOW I'M THE BIGGEST JACKASS THERE IS!

(You): Are you sure?

Xu Huang: YEAH! Are you sure?

Pang De: Of course!

Zhang Liao: What have you been smoking?

Crazy Cindy14: Pot…

Pang De: Nothing…dead bodies?

Xu Huang: You disgust me!

Crazy Cindy14: Can I play with your axe?(Takes all of their axes)

(You): Your gonna get in trouble you know…

Crazy Cindy14: Really?

Xu Huang, Zhang Liao, Pang De: HEY!GIVE THAT BACK!

Crazy Cindy14: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! RUNN!

(You) and Crazy Cindy14 runs away, dropping the axes on the floor, making dents on them.

Zhang Laio: HA! Mines didn't bent! Your weapon sucks! Who's the bigger Jackass now?

Xu Huang, Pang De: ME!

Zhang Liao: Creeps!

**(Love Room?)**

**Cao Pi, Zhen Ji**

I think they were doing _their thing_ when we crept in.

Crazy Cindy14 and (You): HEY!

Zhen Ji and Cao Pi: AHHHHHHHHHH!

Crazy Cindy14: Opps…wrong timing huh?

Zhen Ji: Yeah…

Cao Pi: Who is this?

Crazy Cindy14: This is one of my fans reading this story and we were just here talking to everyone here.

(You): Hello Lord Cao Pi and Lady Zhen Ji.

Crazy Cindy14: (whispers to you) Don't be so polite…haha

(You): Sure?

Cao Pi: Now what?

Crazy Cindy14: Are you a Jackass?

Zhen Ji: I ain't no Jackass, but my crazy husband is!

Cao Pi: What are you talking about? Of course you are! You're the most beautiful Jackass I have ever met!

Zhen Ji: (blushing) Oh Shut up!

Crazy Cindy14 and (You): (laughing)

Cao Pi: I don't find that funny…

Crazy Cindy14: I wan't…

Zhen Ji: Explain the laughter…

(You): Look at Cao Pi's pants.

He and she look and there were several big holes on his pants. They started to laugh, even Cao Pi himself, and while they were, I snatched his Cape and you snatched her Flute.

We left to room…

Cao Pi and Zhen Ji: HEY!

We quickly ran away…dropping the suff…

After………………..

Crazy Cindy14: ahhh! That was so fun!

(You): Yeah…I was just wondering, are you a Jackass?

Crazy Cindy14: I don't fight…why would you say that?

(You): No! Not the fake Jackass…

Crazy Cindy14: You mean….

(You) Yeah…are you…?

Crazy Cindy14: Well…if you are, then I am too…

(You): …you're mean…

Crazy Cindy14: Even to my Fans! MUHAHAHA…actually…that wasn't mean at all…unless I really called you a Jackass…but I'M NOT!

**AhH? I don't know why I did this chapter including you and me. I think I just lost track or something…**

**I'm kinda running out of ideas (Words)…please Review and give me one…and the meaning…hmm? Can't think of anything…**


	5. Am I A?

**Crazy Cindy14: This Word was suggested by dadsnavygirl831. Thank You.**

**(Day Five)**

Cao Cao: Ok? Did ANY of you enjoy "Jackass."

Xiahou Dun: HELL YEAH!

Sima Yi: Well I DID'T! I WAS STUCK WITH ZHANG HE AND CRAZY CINDY14 WITH HER FREAKIN FANS!

Cao Cao: How can you be mad at Devil-Sima Yi? She's one of your biggest fans!

Sima Yi: Well..! …she's Crazy Cindy14's fan! Not me!

Crazy Cindy14: DUDE! HER PENNAME HAS YOUR NAME ON IT!

Sima Yi: You win this round…(thinking of things)

Cao Cao: What about Z Star The Hidden Dragon?

Sima Yi: Is she one of my fans?

Cao Cao: I don't know…is she?

Crazy Cindy14: Why look at me? I barely know her!

Sima Yi and Cao Cao: ……

Crazy Cindy14: Umm? I think she likes Sima Yi…actually…. I think she likes all of you equally

Sima Yi: NO!

Crazy Cindy14: Don't worry…all the others have faith in you.

Sima Yi: Whatever.

Xiahou Dun: Can we get on to the next word?

Cao Cao: I'm already on that. Hmmm?

Xiahou Dun: What is it?

Cao Cao: I can't seem to pronounce this word.

Sima Yi snatches the book out of his hands.

Sima Yi: You need a genius around here!

Cao Cao: Like Guo Jia?

Sima Yi: ummm? No…

Cao Cao: Zhuge Liang?

Sima Yi: YOU DISGUST ME!

All: GET ON TO THE WORD!

Sima Yi: SHUT UP! All right…the word is… "Bastard."

Bastard

Meaning: A Person Who Likes To Show-Off.

Bastards- More than 1 Person

Example: I love to show off my clothes, so I'm a bastard.

Sima Yi: HAHAHA!

Xiahou Yuan: What is it?

Sima Yi: That example sounds like Zhen Ji!

Zhen Ji: No it doesn't!

Cao Pi: Yeah it does! You LOVE to show all of your clothes!

Zhen Ji: No I don't!

Zhang He: Yeah you do!

Zhen Ji: What about you?

Zhang He: umm?

Cao Cao: GET OUT!

**(Front of the Castle)**

**Zhen Ji, Cao Pi, Sima Yi, Zhang He**

Cao Pi: YOU ARE SO A BASTARD!

Zhen Ji: NO I'M NOT!

Cao Pi: It's not just the clothes!

Zhen Ji: What is it now?

Sima Yi: Her face? HAHAA!

Zhen Ji: SHUT UP!

Cao Pi: No. Remember that time when Zhen Ji was drunk, and she wanted to impress all of us with her flute playing, so she played all these like, sexy songs. Well, she tried to play sexy songs, but it did sound crazy. And sometimes, she messes up and starts to play it again but keeps on messing up so he got pissed and started to hit everyone.

Sima Yi: What the?

Zhen Ji: When did this happen!

Cao Pi: Like, a few months ago.

Zhen Ji: LIAR!

Sima Yi: I don't remember any of this happening.

Cao Pi: Or was it that the guys liked her playing and she wanted to become popular, so she started to show off her _skills_!

Sima Yi: HAHAHA! I don't remember that but that is funny!

Zhen Ji: THAT'S NOT TRUE!(Blushing)

Cao Pi: Admit it! You are a bastard!

Sima Yi: YOU ARE TOO!

Cao Pi: HAHA…. what?

Sima Yi: Remember…you wanted to make your dad happy so you started to fight and show off your skills in front of him. And he was like, "My son, you are one of the strongest warriors I have ever seen! I'm proud of you!" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Cao Pi: YOU SAW ME?

Zhen Ji: HAHA! You're a stupid bastard!

Cao Pi: So? What about Sima Yi?

Sima Yi: What about me? Well…I know a lot of people like me…but what else don't I know?

Cao Pi: Remember when you first met my wife.

Sima Yi: I think?

Cao Pi: She saw you fight and you were showing off some of your stupid lasers to her! And she was like, "I love your beautiful lights! They are so shiny!"

Zhen Ji: But they were!

Sima Yi: See…I think she likes me more than you!

Cao Pi: WHAT! YOU BASTARD!

Sima Yi: Look who's talking!

Zhen Ji: Speaking of 'beautiful,' where is Zhang He?

They stopped arguing and started to look for Zhang He. Cao Pi found him behind a tree.

Cao Pi: What's wrong?

Zhang He: OH! I'm not a bastard!

Sima Yi: SO!

Zhang He: BUT I WANNA!

Zhen Ji: But you are my Lord!

Zhang He: Really!

Zhen Ji: Remember that time when we were fighting at Wu Zhang Plains?

All: yeah?

Zhen Ji: We were losing to Zhuge Liang and so Sima Yi got mad and Zhang He saw him. I think you told him, "Don't worry my love, I'll handle this."

Sima Yi: YOU WISH HE SAID THAT!

Zhen Ji: Whatever! So he jumped in the middle of the battlefield and started to fuck everyone. When Sima Yi heard that he had killed the entire army, he rushed up to him and said, "Did you do this for me or were you showing off?" Then I think He answered, " Oh no! I was showing off to Zhen Ji." Or something like that.

Sima Yi: WHAT?

Zhen Ji: I said I THINK it was something like that!

Zheng He: So? I am…

Zhen Ji: A Bastard!

Zhang He: YAYYAYAY!

Sima Yi: LOOK WHAT YOU DID!

Cao Pi: YEAH! LOOK WHAT YOU DID!

Zhen Ji: I was just cheering him up.

Sima Yi and Cao Pi: EXACTALY!

**(Main Room)**

**Cao Cao, Cao Ren, Dian Wei, Xu Huang, Zhang Liao, Pang De, Xiahou Dun, Xiahou Yuan, Xu Zhu  
**

Cao Cao: We all don't like to show off…so I guess this chapter was for Sima Yi, Cao Pi, and Zhen Ji….and maybe Zhang He.

Xiahou Dun: But remember what you said? You said that we have to practice using those words.

Cao Cao: Fine! I'm a bastard, even though I'm not in reality!

Xiahou Dun: Cheap!

All: Whatever…I'm a bastard!

Xu Zhu: I like to show-off my fat!

Dian Wei: I like to show off my baldhead…

Crazy Cindy14: Shut up! I don't really like your head or his freain FAT! NASTY!

* * *

**I guess…this one was a short one…like I said…I mostly like Sima Yi and the group…I just got lazy and started to write this one. Sorry…but…isn't it true? They don't really like to show off…or do they?**

**You saw the word "Fuck"...if you read the first chapter, you would know it means kill...not...to have sex or anything  
**

**Devil- Sima Yi : You are sooo….funny and awesome…but I didn't know that you didn't like Zhang He…sorry about that. **

**Z Star The Hidden Dragon: Thanks for the reviews…I don't know about the robbing thing again. That was just for fun. But I'll see if I can think of some other stuff.**

**Others, sorry for those 2 but they are my biggest fans for this story. Both of them…reviewing like crazy and telling me something about that stupid chapter.** **Thanks again…but…we are just communicating…if you know what I mean.**

**P.S: **I AM NOT A BASTARD! I'M NOT SHOWING OFF! I'M JUST TRYING TO WRITE SOME FUNNY STUFF!


	6. Sima Yi Is A?

**(Day Six)**

Cao Cao: So…did..

Sima Yi: SHUT UP!

Cao Cao: I knew that was coming.

Sima Yi: I don't like any of this anymore!

Cao Cao: So?

Sima Yi: I QUIT!

All: NO!

Sima Yi: WHAT?

Cao Pi: If you quit, no one will like you anymore.

Sima Yi: Like anyone does!

All: …(stares at him pissed)

Sima Yi: Fine! But this word better cheer me up!

Xiahou Dun: Bring it on Cao Cao.

Cao Cao: Word of the day is…faggot…ohh…uh..huh?

Sima Yi: WHAT?

Cao Cao:

Faggot

Meaning: A Person with Intelligence

(I am smart.) I am a faggot.

All: (looking at Sima Yi)

Sima Yi: Oh! So you all blame me for being smart?

All: (continues looking at Sima Yi but with devil eyes this time)

Sima Yi: Whatever…you guys are non-faggots. I'm outta here.

**(Kitchen)**

Everyone from Wei 

Sima Yi: What is this?

Zhen Ji: Since you actually are a symbol for the word "faggot" we will have a day of celebration for you.

Sima Yi: Does this mean I can do anything I want?

Cao Cao: Anything you want and you can also give us orders…

Sima Yi: (starts laughing)

All: ah?

Sima Yi: HAHAHAHAHA! (Laughing like a maniac)

Zhang He: This isn't good.

Xiahou Dun: So (shaking), what would you like to do first?

Sima Yi: DRESS IN DRESSES!

All: Wha…?

Sima Yi: All of you make fun of me wearing a dress…this time it's payback!

All: What the..…

Sima Yi: DON'T SAY IT AND GO!

5 minutes later, the guys came out with dresses on them. All blue, purple, white, and some back

Sima Yi: Excellent!

Cao Ren: You make us look like fools!

Sima Yi: You are!

Xiahou Dun: I'm gonna fuck you, you faggot!

Sima Yi: Not unless I fuck you first!

All but Sima and Xiahou: ooohhh!

Dian Wei: BURN!

Xiahou Dun: SHUT UP!

Cao Pi: (annoyed)(sarcastically) Enjoy being a faggot?

Sima Yi: Of course I do!

Zhang He: So? What do you want us to do?

Sima Yi: (looks at him evilly)

Zhang He: ahh?

Sima Yi: SINCE THIS WILL ONLY BE ONE DAY, I'LL THINK OF EVERYHING I CAN!

All: no…

Sima Yi: XIAHOU DUN, do my laundry!

Xiahou Dun: (angrily) Yes…faggot!

Sima Yi: DIAN WEI, massage my foot!

Dian Wei: EW! I hate you, you faggot!

Sima Yi: XU ZHU, go exercise to get skinnier! RUN AROUND THE PALACE LIKE, 20 TIMES

Xu Zhu: (crying) Yes faggot…

Sima Yi: CAO CAO, fan me! I'm getting hot!

Cao Cao: (annoyed) Sure…why not? Faggot!

Sima Yi: XIAHOU YUAN, cook me food! I want steak with some BBQ sause, and some fried rice, with some jasmine tea!

Xiahou Yuan: Me? Cook? Whatever, faggot!

Sima Yi: ZHANG LIAO, polish my fan! Make it soft and shiny!

Zhang Liao: Yes faggot. ( whispers) How can they be soft and shiny at the same time?

Sima Yi: XU HUANG, massage my left hand!

Xu Huang: ehh? Yes…faggot?

Sima Yi: ZHANG HE, I just don't like you! Gota HELL!

Zhang He: Ahh? Where is that?

Sima Yi: Just go…. kill yourself or something?

Zhang He: YES MY LOVE!

Sima Yi: OUT!

Zhang He leaves…

Sima Yi: CAO REN, massage my other hand…the right!

Cao Ren: UHH! FAGGOT!

Sima Yi: PANG DE lock yourself in the coffin!

Pang De: That's not that bad…

Sima Yi: FOREVER!

Pang De: 1 DAY!

Sima Yi: WHATEVER!

Pang De hops in the coffin and it somehow closes…

Sima Yi: Finally! ZHEN Ji and CAO PI, dance for me!

Cao Pi: (told Zhen Ji) at least we are together!

Zhen Ji: Whatever…

They both started to dance for Siam Yi.

Sima Yi: HAHAHA! THIS IS THE LIFE!

Xu Zhu: (panting) I did my 20 laps!

Sima Yi: 40 MORE!

Xu Zhu: AWWWWWW! (crying)

Sima Yi: Life is good…is my food ready?

Xiahou Yuan: I messed up!

Sima Yi: WHAT?

**Crazy Cindy14: I seriously don't know why I did this…I must be really sleepy so I just made up something…school has gotten on to me…sorry everyone…**

**Oh! Z Star The Hidden Dragon, I don't think crack head is a swear…or if it is…then I don't think like…it's too intense enough…. sorry.**

**DeviL-Sima Yi: Do you like this chapter? You should right? **


	7. Know Anybody Who's A?

**(Day 7)**

Sima Yi: So? Did anyone enjoy the word "faggot?"

All: NO!

Sima Yi: Ah…I sure will miss that day.

Xu Zhu: I think I lost 10 lbs because of you.

Sima Yi: You should have lost more!

Cao Cao: Enough of you! The next word is "wore?"

All: Huh?

Sima Yi snatches the book again.

Sima Yi: It's "whore."

All: OK?

Sima Yi:

Whore

Meaning: A Stupid Person

Whores - more than 1

Example: I like to do stupid things so I am a whore.

Sima Yi: You're all whores!

All: Nah Uh!

Sima Yi: Yeah!

Cao Cao: Fine! We'll prove it!

**(Main Room)**

**Everyone**

Cao Cao: Ok…so we all think that we are all whores?

All: Uh Huh…

Cao Cao: Ok. I have a box. There are papers that have our names on it. We will all pick one, and whoever we get, we will say something that makes them a whore. Ok?

All: Ahh….sure?

Everyone takes a paper out of the box and looks at the name.

**Outcome:**

Xiahou Dun got Xu Huang

Xu Zhu got Sima Yi

Dian Wei got Cao Cao

Cao Cao got Zhen Ji

Xu Huang got Zhang He

Zhang Liao got Pang De

Sima Yi got Cao Pi

Zhen Ji got Cao Ren

Zhang He got Dian Wei

Cao Pi got Xiahou Yuan

Pang De got Xiahou Dun

Cao Ren got Zhang Liao

Xiahou Yuan got Xu Zhu

Cao Cao: Xiahou Dun, why don't you go first?

Xiahou Dun: Thanks. I think that Xu Huang is a whore because he thinks that he can obtain true strength, but he can't! It's impossible.

All: Yeah….

Xu Huang: Well? You don't know for sure! What if there is true strength?

Cao Cao: There isn't! Xu Zhu, you're next.

Xu Zhu: Duhh…I think that Sima Yi is a whore because…ahhh…he uses a fan or a weapon.

Sima Yi: What!

All: That's true.

Sima Yi: I think, not fight! I use a fan because…I don't know! Koei gave it to me!

Cao Cao: Tisk tisk tisk! What a bad excuse.

Sima Yi: Humph!

Cao Cao: Dian Wei is next.

Dian Wei: Um? I think that Lord Cao Cao is a whore because he thinks that he's all-powerful ruling a kingdom.

Cao Cao: I am!

Dian Wei: Yeah right! Without all of us, you would be helpless.

Cao Cao: You dare yell at me?

Dian Wei: Sorry…

Cao Cao: I thought so…um…I'm next…

All: …

Cao Cao: I think that Zhen Ji is a whore because she thinks she's all that.

Zhen Ji: No I don't.

All: Yeah!

Cao Cao: See? You think you're all-beautiful and stuff.

Zhen Ji: I am! That's why I said I was a slut!

All: nah…

Cao Cao: Next!

Xu Huang: I think that Zhang He is a whore because he's gay…

Zhang He: So?

All: HAHA

Cao Cao: Xu Huang, just because he's gay doesn't make him a whore.

Xu Huang: So! It bothers me.

Zhang He: Leave me alone!

Cao Cao: Whatever…next!

Zhang Liao: Pang De is a whore because he carries his coffin to the battlefield.

Pang De: Don't talk about my coffin!

Zhang Liao: When you die, we'll always bury you in that coffin you desire! Don't always carry it.

Pang De: Just let me do what I have to!

Cao Cao: Wow…. what a warrior…next?

Siam Yi: I know that Cao Pi is a whore because he wears a cape!

Cao Pi: So…why am I a whore?

Sima Yi: Why do you need that cape? Are you trying to impress someone or something?

Cao Pi: No…I got it from my father!

Everyone looks at Cao Cao.

Cao Cao: What? He's my son. I can't give him gifts?

Sima Yi: That is the lamest gift ever.

Cao Cao: Shut up! Next!

Zhen Ji: Cao Ren is a whore because…I don't know…he's ugly?

All but Zhen and Ren: HAHAHA

Zhen Ji: What? I don't know anything about Cao Ren.

Xiahou Dun: Don't be trying to protect your friend.

Zhen Ji: I'm not! I just don't know stupid things about him!

Cao Ren: I'm safe!

Cao Cao: What a waste! Next!

Cao Pi: Xiahou Yuan is a whore because he does almost everything that Huang Zhong does!

All: Yeah?

Cao Pi: Well…they do like the same moves! With the stupid arrows and stuff…

Xiahou Yuan: I can change!

All: Whatever!

Cao Cao: haha…. next.

Pang De: I think that Xiahou Dun is a whore because he doesn't tie up all that long hair of his!

Xiahou Dun: WHAT?

Pang De: Your long hair makes you look like a girl!

Xiahou Dun: Well! I bet you don't have any hair under that stupid helmet of yours!

Pang De: Don't deny the truth…

Cao Cao: That's sad…umm…next!

Xiahou Yuan: I think that Xu Zhu is a whore because he acts like a child!

All but Zhu: Yeah!

Xu Zhu: You're mean! I'm telling Cao Cao!

Cao Cao: I heard…you are a kid!

Xu Zhu starts to cry…

Cao Cao: (annoyed) Gezz…sorry… Next.

Cao Ren: I think that Zhang Liao is a whore because he ties some kind of towel around him that makes him look like he is wearing a skirt or something.

All: What?

Cao Ren: I don't know…that's all I could think of…

Zhang Liao: Haha…not even a challenge…

Cao Cao: Ok? That was weak…lest..is Zhang He.

Zhang He: I think that Dian Wei is a whore because he's bald?

Dian Wei: So? I'm a better fighter than you!

Zhang He: I don't know! Put on a wig or something. It's disturbing!

All but Dian Wei: HAHAHHAHA!

Dian Wei: I don't care! My appearance doesn't matter!

All: ….

Everyone went silent for a while.

Sima Yi: I told you that you were all whores!

Xiahou Dun: What about you!

Sima Yi: The mind will vanquish you all…

Zhen Ji: Shut up fan boy!

Sima Yi: What about you? You're gonna play a song so terrible that it will make the enemies cry, not just retreat!

All: HAHAHA

Zhen Ji: All of you! Shut up!

Cao Pi: My wife is such a bastard!

Zhen Ji: Don't forget slut!

Cao Pi: HAHAHA! Even funnier!

Everyone laughs harder…

Zhen Ji: You guys are so immature!

She leaves the room, and everyone still laughs at her miserably.

**HAHA…this was kinda fun. The things I said in this chapter were all made up! I wouldn't make fun of Wei! I love these guys! (And girl)…EXCEPT! Xu Zhu! Dude…he's like childish! Baby…I would like to say…but…whatever…as long as he doesn't get near Sima Yi…ahh? I'm so obsessed with this guy. Sorry.**

** OH! I am a whore! I love to do stupid things...not all the time! Like what you might ask? I don't know...**

**Are You A Whore? **


	8. Wanna Have Fun?

**DUDE! I couldn't think of any words! Why? How the hell should I know?**

**This word……….isn't a Bad Word…but anyways…read on…**

**(Day 8)**

Cao Cao: Did…

All: The next word is?

Cao Cao: OK OK!

All: Gezz…

Cao Cao: The next one is….. "sex"

All: Why is that in the book…

Cao Cao: On look! A description…

"Sorry bro…this doesn't really mean 'sex'. There are more meanings to it…"(remember, the girl was giving this book to her little bro as a dictionary)

Xiahou Dun: What the hell!

Cao Cao:

Sex/Sexy

Meaning: Fun; Funny

(Used different ways)

Example: (You aren't fun) You aren't Sexy!

Zhang He: Can I go have sex with Sima Yi?

All: NO!

Sima Yi: HELL NAH!

Zhang He: You guys aren't sexy…

Cao Cao: Wait. When you asked that, did you mean 'fun' or the other?

Zhang He: Of course 'fun!'

Sima Yi: Yeah right…

Cao Cao: Get going you sexy things!

All: Ehh…but it's used in a disgusting way!

Cao Cao: So…what do you want me to do?

All: Crap!

Cao Cao: You go have sex with Crap!

Sima Yi: Go Screw yourself!

Cao Cao: I already did!

All: EAH!

Cao Cao: Just kidding! Man, you guys are so sexy!

Cao Ren: Yeah right!

Sima Yi: Ms. Zhen Ji, would you like to go have sex with Cao Pi…(snickering)

Zhen Ji: Wanna?

Cao Pi: Lets!

They both rush in their room, and later heard many noises from the outside.

Xiahou Dun: Hmm? I wonder if they are really having 'sex' or 'sex?'

Sima Yi: Xu Zhu, go have sex! You'll lose some weight out of it!

Xu Zhu: But I don't know who to have sex with!

Sima Yi: (laughing) Oh my god…I can't believe he is saying that! HAHAHA!

Xu Zhu: I know! Dian Wei, you wanna have sex with me?

Dina Wei: Umm? AHH? It's ok

Xu Zhu: C'mon!

Xu Zhu grabbed Dian Wei and took him somewhere that we don't really need to know.

Sima Yi: OMG! HAHAHAHAHA!

Cao Cao: You are so evil…

Zhang Liao: Did you know that I've never had sex before?

Xu Huang: 'Fun' or …the other…

Zhang Liao: Fun…

Sima Yi: That's because you are too busy having sex…the real one! HAHAHAHA!

Zhang Liao left before he could be embarrassed anymore…

Sima Yi: So? Who else is an 80-year-old virgin?

Cao Cao: You…

Sima Yi: You're wrong… 'You' it means you, Cao Cao…but you have had… 'sex' with countless people!

Cao Cao: Did not!

Cao Ren: You never told me that!

Cao Cao: I had 'fun'…not 'sex.'

Sima Yi: But 'sex' is 'fun'!

Xiahou Yuan: HAHAHA! Sima Yi thinks that sex is fun!

Sima Yi: WHAT?

Pang De: HAHA! You're right!

Sima Yi got pissed and started to chase the 2. The only ones left in the room were Cao Cao, Zhang He, and Xiahou Dun, Cao Ren, and Xu Huang.(I think)

Xiahou Dun: I'm gonna go watch Sima Yi kill those guys…

Cao Ren: Me too…

Xu Huang: Yeah…me three…

They left and only Cao Cao and Zhang He were left…

Cao Cao: Wanna go have sex?

Zhang He: Which?

Cao Cao: Whichever one you want…

Zhang He: You mean?

Cao Cao: yeah….

Zhang He: Lets go!

**Damn! I'm tired! ….I think I'm really running out of words…but if I can't think of any other…then I will just figure something out…to do to the story…**

**Please help me! School is getting CrappY! It's sucking the Bad Words out of me! THINK! THINK!**

**I'm just wondering if anyone wants to have "sex" with me? **


	9. Have An?

**(Day 9)**

Cao Cao: You guys are disgusting!

All: WHAT!

Sima Yi: You gave us the word!

Cao Cao: OK! Will you be happy if I give you the next word?

All: It better be good!

Cao Cao: "Anus"?

All: OoKk?

Cao Cao:

Anus

Meaning: Weapon

Example: (Weapons are cool) Anuses are cool…(I don't really know if there is a plural)

Cao Cao: Lets do a show and tell!

All: Aw…

Cao Cao: It's an order! Now go get your weapons!

All: aww…

Everyone go gets their weapons and heads back…

(The weapons they will show and tell about is their DW5 Forth Weapons, well pretty much the same from all the DWs…I think)

Cao Cao: Wanna tell us something about your anus, Xiahou Dun?

Xiahou Dun: My anus is a scimitar! It will slash all of you to pieces! It's very sharp!

Cao Cao: ok? Xiahou Yuan?

Xiahou Yuan: My anus is sharp so watch out! It's just a club with spikes. Not that big, but it's still useful.

Sima Yi: Yeah! To kill my mom! HAHA

Cao Cao: haha….Dian Wei?

Dian Wei: My anus is a lion.

All: HAHAAHA!

Dian Wei: I meant my axe is the head of a lion.

Sima Yi: ANIMAL CRUELTY!

Dian Wei: Creep!

Cao Cao: he…he? Zhang He?

Zhang He: My anus is sharp as well. They are claws…

Sima Yi: That's it?

Cao Cao: yeah?

Zhang He: Well…

Cao Cao: Whatever…Xu Zhu?

Xu Zhu: My anus is round!

Sima Yi: ehh!

Xu Zhu: It has a face of a bull!

Sima Yi: You mean "Bullshit"!

Dian Wei: Shut up Sima Yi!

Sima Yi: Stop protecting your Bitch!

All but Xu and Dian: HAHAHAHA!

Dian Wei began blushing…

Sima Yi: ahh! A toast for the perfect couple!

Cao Cao: I don't want to hear about this anymore…Xu Zhu, I'll have to skip you.

Xu Zhu: aww…I didn't get to finish.

Sima Yi: So?

Xu Zhu began to cry.

Cao Cao: Fag…Cao Pi my good son!

Cao Pi: I have two anuses.

Sima Yi: One stupid!

Cao Pi: But my anus is removable!

Sima Yi: It's still one! I'm the smart one here!

Cao Pi: Bastard!

Sima Yi: I'm not showing off! I am smart!

Cao Cao: great….Zhen Ji.

Sima Yi: Oh no! …It's the deadly flute! HAHAHAHAHA!

Zhen Ji: Shut up! My anus is very pretty! The flute! It can make enemies ran like babies!

Sima Yi: You already made one baby cry! (Pointing to Xu Zhu)

Zhen Ji and Cao Cao: Shut Up!

Sima Yi: hehehehe…

Cao Cao: Cao Ren?

Cao Ren: My anus is a small double head with a shield. A big shield…

Sima Yi: It's like Cao Pi's but with a big shield.

Cao Ren: Yes…

Sima Yi: Why do you need a shield? The enemies won't be able to see you…you're kinda short…

Cao Ren: And I will kill them by their knees!

Sima Yi: Whatever…

Cao Cao: Xu Huang?

Sima Yi: Axe Boy #2…

Xu Huang: My anus is a really long one. …(HAHAHA!) It's an axe.

Sima Yi: Yi Ha….. Haha get it…Yi …me…Sima Yi…

All: SHUT UP!

Sima Yi: You're just jealous!

Cao Cao: Ok? What about you Sima Yi?

Sima Yi: My anus is a destructive feathered fan.

All: Boring…

Sima Yi: Jealous people around here…

Cao Cao: Pang De?

Pang De: I also have two anuses…

Sima Yi: 1…

Pang De: It's two halberds.

Sima Yi: Now THAT'S boring.

Pang De and Cao Cao: Shut the HELL UP!

Sima Yi: MUHAHAAH!

Cao Cao: Zhang Liao?

Zhang Liao: My anus is just an…I don't know…some kinda of spear looking crap. I just call is a Wyvern.

Sima Yi: Why?

Zhang Liao: It's just for the babes…

Sima Yi: You disgust me.

Cao Cao: An me? My anus is just a sword.

Sima Yi: Now yours is definitely boring…a lot of the warriors here and elsewhere uses swords…

Cao Cao: And spears….

Sima Yi: But they are almost all different…

Cao Cao: So are the swords…

Sima Yi: Shut up…your anus is ugly.

Cao Cao: And yours isn't?

Sima Yi: Of course not! I clean it every once in a while…

All: You clean it?

Sima Yi: Why not…I don't want mines to smell like all of yours!

All: (arguing) (cussing) (shouting)…whatever

**Got any words to offer to the poor, me? Please…I really want just a couple of more…I guess….I don't know…I don't know anything…sorry**


	10. What's Your Favorite?

**(Day 10)**

Cao Cao: Now that our anuses are out of the way…well move on to the next word…

All: Aw….

Cao Cao: What? We are like half way to the book!

All: 10 more words?

Cao Cao: I don't' know…

Xiahou Dun: So the word of the day is?

Cao Cao: "Shit"

All: Wow…

Cao Cao:

"Shit"

Meaning: Food

Example: (My favorite food are chips) My favorite shit are chips.

Xu Zhu: YAY!

Everyone Else: Aw….

Cao Cao: This isn't a good topic for all of us.

Xu Zhu: I like food! (Drools)

Sima Yi: YUCK!

Cao Cao: Lets all tell each other our favorite shit!

Sima Yi: That's boring.

Cao Cao: I know isn't it…. it was all Crazy Cindy's idea…

Crazy Cindy14: FINE! I'll see if I can make it funny…gezz…what a bitch (real meaning)..old bitch

**Kitchen**

**Everyone**

Cao Cao: Ok? Zhen Ji, what kind of shit do you like?

Zhen Ji: I love vegetables!

All: BORING!

Zhen Ji: That's why I'm in shape! Creeps..

Sima Yi: So what's what fold on your stomach doing there?

Everyone looks at Zhen Ji's stomach and sees a fold folding over her outfit.

Everyone but Xu Zhu and Zhen Ji: EHHH!

Zhen Ji: It…it's a. …Mistake!

Cao Cao: Well…she's not as fat as Xu Zhu…

Xu Zhu: That's because I eat everything!

Sima Yi: Even human…

All: (Gasp)!

Xu Zhu: What's human? Have I eaten it before?

Sima Yi: Try licking Xiahou Yuan and see if he's tasty or not…

Xu Zhu: NO! He's hairy!

Xiahou Yuan: I just haven't shaved in a week!

Sima Yi: ahh? Try Cao Cao.

Cao Cao: Not if you wanna get killed!

Sima Yi: Cao Pi!

Cao Pi: If he does it then I'll lick you!

Sima Yi: EHH! Fine…lick…Dina Wei…he's half naked anyways!

Dian Wei: WHAT!

Xu Zhu: OK!

He jumps to Dian Wei, took his arm, and started to lick it.

Dian Wei: Let go!

Dian Wei pushes off Xu Zhu.

Xu Zhu: He tastes pretty good! I think I ate human before….yeah…

Sima Yi: Told you he eats people…

Cao Cao: (whispers to everyone except Xu Zhu) Let's chop him us and eat him sometime…since he ate so much food in his life, he might taste pretty good.

Everyone but Xu Zhu: Yeah..sure…I want the fatty pary…

Cao Cao: (clears his throat) Ok…what about you Cao Ren?

Cao Ren: My favorite shit is brown…

Sima Yi: Interesting…

Cao Ren: Soy sauce chicken!

Half of the crowd: Yumm….

Sima Yi: I thought he was gonna say the stuff that goes in the toilet. HAHA

Cao Ren: You're nasty…

Cao Cao: Cao Pi?

Cao Pi: My favorite shit is just plain Fried Rice.

Sima Yi: And?

Cao Pi: What?

Sima Yi: There has to be more than that!

Cao Pi: What makes you say that?

Sima Yi: Your fat ass…

Cao Pi: It's not that fat…

Sima Yi: Yeah…there is a third butt cheek…

Cao Pi: UMM?

Cao Cao: Is this true?

Cao Pi: umm? OH! I got them form your genes!

All: (gasp)

Sima Yi: Is this true?

Cao Cao: SHUT UP! XIAHOU DUN!

Xiahou Dun: (stops laughing) haha…um…my favorite shit is…

Sima Yi: His eyeball…

Xiahou Dun: Yeah…

All: UHHH!

Xiahou Dun: It tastes like chicken!

Sima Yi: You still remember?

Xiahou Dun: It was a special moment, so of course I do!

Cao Cao: Nasty…Xiahu Yuan?

Xiahou Yuan: Chicken…

Sima Yi: That's funny…

Xiahou Yuan: Why is that?

Sima Yi: Because you are the size of one!

Xiahou Yuan: That's not funny.

Sima Yi: I know.

Cao Cao: Ok? Zhang He?

Zhang He: My favorite shit is…

Sima Yi: Butterflies?

Zhang He: UH! NEVER! They are beautiful!

Sima Yi: You always say that…to everything! Even if they are extremely ugly…

Zhang He: …

Cao Cao: So sad…

Zhang He: Mine is…vegetable buns…

All: EHH!

Zhang He: What?

Sima Yi: Are you are like a Zhen Ji!

Zhang He: NO! I likes the buns!

Sima Yi: Yeah…trying to be fit!

Zhang He: (whimpers)

Cao Cao: What about you Sima Yi?

Sima Yi: My favorite shit is bird!

Xiaohu Dun: And why?

Sima Yi: So I can pluck their feathers after that…

Cao Cao: For your feather fan…

Sima Yi: maybe…

Cao Cao: And I thought they were from Phoenixes…

Sima Yi: My special ones are from Phoenixes…the others are just for emergencies…

Cao Cao: Really? Ok? Pang De?

Pang De: Bones…

Cao Cao: What the hell…

Sima Yi: Who are you?

Pang De: Pang De?

Sima Yi: And you eat bones?

Pang De: I like the flavor! Leave me alone!

All: UHH!

Sima Yi: What kind of bones?

Pang De: Chicken, duck, cow, pig…

Sima Yi: Human?

Pang De: NO! I ain't like Xu Zhu ok?

Xu Zhu: Human? Have I eaten that before?

All: Shut up!

Xu Zhu: (wails)

Cao Cao: Shut up! Xu Huang, your turn!

Xu Huang: Raw Meat…

All: UHH!

Xu Huang: That shit will give me strength!

Sima Yi: Yeah…the strength to barf.

Xu Xuang: HUMPH!

Cao Cao: Yuck! Dian Wei?

Dian Wei: All kinda of meat!

Cao Cao: Don't we all eat that?

Dian Wei: I eat things that will give me muscle!

Sima Yi: Then later you will have so much that you will explode!

Dian Wei: Maybe…

Cao Cao: Right? I personally just like royal shit.

Sima Yi: Like what?

Cao Cao: Everything…

Sima Yi: Oh look! A Royal Xu Zhu!

Cao Cao: I ain't fat ok!

Xu Zhu: (wails louder)

Cao Cao: Alright…

Zhang Liao: Ah Hem?

Cao Cao: OH! I almost forgot about you Zhang Liao!

Zhang Liao: ok.

Cao Cao: So your favorite shit is?

Zhang Liao: The things that go in the toilet…

Cao Cao: The brown smelly stuff?

Zhang Liao: Yeah…it's food from inside us.

Sima Yi: You're getting wasted you know…

All: HUH?

**Wow…this was weird….**

**What's your favorite shit?**

**For me:**

**Breakfast: Anything…**

Lunch: Some kind of something… 

**Dinner: Something…**

**Desert: Something sweet and juicy.**

**Yeah….I basically eat anything …no…it depends if I like it…picky jackass ain't I?**

…**sad isn't it…I ain't no fatass ok…I'm regular!**

**What's up with AIN'T? I'm not sure…it isn't a word…but who cares…**


	11. Have A?

**Boys…this word(s) is/are from all you guys…**

**It isn't a bad word, but it is a "Bad Word."…Sorry about that…**

**(Day Eleven)**

Sima Yi: Cao Cao, I heard that this word was suppose to be good for us.

Cao Cao: Let me see…

Sima Yi: If it's good for everyone else, then it is bad for me.

Cao Cao: Interesting.

Xiahou Dun: What is it?

Cao Cao: Check out this word… "Cock."

Zhen Ji: Cocky…haha

Cao Cao:

Cock/Crotch (yes…they are the same thing)

Meaning: Girl/Boy Friend

Note: Usually used for asking in terms of numbers.

Example: (How many girl/boy friends do you have?) How many cocks do you have?

Sima Yi: Oh! There we go again with the lovey-dovey crap!

Zhang He: Don't worry Sima Yi…you'll get one soon enough, and your problems will all be over.

Sima Yi: (says to himself) No. It will be all over once I take care of you. (Out Loud) HAHAHAHAHAHA

All: …?

Sima Yi: Um…I was thinking of the time we recorded Cao Cao taking a dump. Hehe?

Cao Cao: UH!

All: HAHAHAA!

Cao Cao: GET OUT!

(Don't get confused throughout the story. Cock is girlfriend, and Crotch is boyfriend)

**(Out in the Garden)  
Zhen Ji, Cao Pi, Sima Yi**

Sima Yi: Thank God! Zhang He isn't where we are…

Cao Pi: He isn't a bad guy…once you get to know him better.

Zhen Ji: Yeah…

Sima Yi: Don't get me mad!

Zhen and Pi: We aren't…

Sima Yi: …! Zhen Ji, remember that time when Cao Pi cheated you with another girl?

Zhen and Pi: WHAT?

Sima Yi: Yeah…he told her that his wife died…and then he asked her to he his cock.

Zhen Ji: WHAT?

Cao Pi: Do you know what you have done!

Sima Yi: Yes…and proud of it.

Zhen Ji was so mad, she ripped her own outfit into half…just leaving her a bit bare…

Cao Pi: Holly Shit! That is some body!

Sima Yi: Eh.

Zhen Ji exploded and began to chase after Cao Pi, but he got on a horse. She was still faster than him.

Cao Pi: Holly Crap! What are you?

Zhen Ji: YOUR SLUT WIFE!

Cao Pi: Not with that attitude.

Meanwhile…

Sima Yi was just standing at the same spot, laughing at Cao Pi's miserable wife.

Sima Yi: Lesson 1: Never get a girl.

Lesson 2: If you do, make sure she doesn't think she is a slut.

Lesson 3: If she can fight, don't take her. Get weak ones so they don't harm you.

Lesson 4: Make sure she can cook, clean, and entertain…HAHAHA

Lesson 5: Make sure she is smart…(snickers)

Lesson 6: Make sure she isn't a man, lesbian, bisexual, or gay…HAHA

This is a lesson all guys should learn. Cao Pi had to pay the consequences. Listen to me, ok? Why? Because I am Sima Yi people! I'm smarter than all of you. Oh yeah…this is a lesson for lesbians too. MUAHAHAA

**(Kitchen)  
Zhang He, Cao Cao, Cao Ren, Xu Zhu, Dian Wei**

Dian Wei: There we go again! It's always Xu Zhu and me!

Cao Cao: What's so bad about that?

Dian Wei: You won't understand.

Zhang He: You're just embarrassed because Xu Zhu wants to be your crotch.

Dian Wei: NO!

Xu Zhu: You don't want me to?

Cao Ren: This is getting nasty…

Cao Cao: Gays are funny!

Cao Ren: Like you?

Cao Cao: …

Dian Wei: NO! I don't want you to be my crotch!

Xu Zhu: Why?

Dian Wei: I already got one!

Zhang He: So you are gay!

Dian Wei: Cock…

Zhang He: Same thing…wait…no.

Dian Wei: You're just jealous because you don't have one.

Zhang He: Yeah! I play with her!

Dian Wei: Whatever! Cockless…

**(Zhang Liao's Quarters)**

Zhang Liao 

Zhang Liao: My cock is my horse now leave me alone. Just read all about it on Chapter 2. It'll tell all!

**(Xu Huang's Quarters)  
Xu Huang**

Xu Huang: I have a cock…wanna see her?

He takes off his pants and looks down.

Xu Huang: Let me introduce you to some people Wiggles.

(Yes…his cock's name is Wiggle…nasty…)

**(Pang De's Quarters)**  
…**no one…**

**Sign on his door: I killed my cock…and crotches…leave me alone.**

**(lol…crotch(es)?)**

**(Outside Somewhere)  
Xiahou Dun, Xiahou Yuan**

Xiahou Yuan: Have you ever found your perfect cock?

Xiahou Dun: I don't want to be sick minded.

Xiahou Yuan: It's just a girl

Xiahou Dun: I know…and that's why.

Xiahou Yuan: Girls aren't sick.

Xiahou Dun: Yeah. Zhen Ji is so sick with Cao Pi.

Xiahou Yuan: Why?

Xiahou Dun: You want to know?

Xiahou Yuan: Just curious.

Xiahou Dun: You are gross.

Xiahou Yuan: Never mind…I just found out.

Xiahou Dun: How?

Xiahou Yuan: I was looking in your eyes.

Xiahou Dun: Man! You're GAY and FAT!

**Help…. again…running…out…of…words…**

**Should I make fun of the girls next? What is I saying…I'm a girl…but should I anyways…?**

**That would be sad…but let me think…hehehehe…**

**Sexist? Me? I don't know…MUHAHAHA! NO! I'm just kiddin!**

**Wanna be my Cock/Crotch? **

**lol...that sounds so freakin nasty  
**


	12. Really, Are You A?

**(Day 12)**

Sima Yi: I'm bored…

Cao Cao: There is another word in here you know.

Sima Yi: I know…that's why I'm bored.

Cao Cao: Whatever.

Xiahou Dun: Get on to the next word before we all get bored.

Cao Cao:

**Prostitute**

**Meaning: A Bully**

**Prostitutes: Plural**

**Example: (I know a lot of bullies) I know a lot of prostitutes.**

Sima Yi: There are many prostitutes in this room.

Cao Cao: And who would that be?

Sima Yi: You, me, Zhen Ji…everyone is a prostitute.

Zhen Ji: Prove it smartass.

Sima Yi: Fine.

Zhen Ji: Humph!

Sima Yi: Cao Cao is a prostitute because he likes to make fun of the other Kingdom Leaders, such as Sun Jian and Liu Bei, because he is jealous of their strength.

Cao Cao: Why would I, Cao Cao, be jealous of their strength?

Sima Yi: Because you are an old fag who can't take care of themselves, and that's why you have more than 1 wife.

Cao Cao: Bastard…(Show-off)

Sima Yi: Cao Pi is a prostitute because he makes fun of me being smart.

Cao Pi: So?

Sima Yi: You are the Omega Prostitute.

Cao Pi: Faggot.

Sima Yi: Zhang He is one because he makes fun of everyone not as beautiful as him.

Zhang He: No! I didn't make fun of you!

Sima Yi: Don't Get There!

All: HAHA!

Sima Yi: You guys are gonna get fucked so badly, I swear.

Cao Cao: Try me!

Sima Yi: I rather not…

Cao Cao: Loser…

Sima Yi: As I was saying…umm? Cao Cao…Pi…He…OH! Dian Wei…? Ummm?

Dian Wei?

Sima Yi: Shut up! Let me think…

All: …?

Sima Yi: Dian Wei is a prostitute because he makes fun of Xu Zhu being fat.

Zhen Ji: We all do that…

Xu Zhu: (cries)

Sima Yi: Fatass…

Dian Wei: Sad huh?

Sima Yi: No.

Xu Zhu: (cries even harder)

Sima Yi: Zhen Ji, the Really Really Cool and Beautiful Prostitute makes fun of Zhang He for being too beautiful.

Zhen Ji: I Love You Sima Yi.

Cao Pi: ASSHOLE!

Sima Yi: Don't be jealous!

Zhang He: No! Zhen Ji is just jealous because she isn't beautiful!

Sima Yi: Shut up! Damn…stop being a He-She!

All: HahAAH!

Zhen Ji: (blushes) Thank you Sima Yi!

Sima Yi: (blushes too) No problem.

Cap Pi: YOU…ASS…HOLE!

Sima Yi: Who said that?

Cao Pi: SHUT UP!

Sima Yi: Whatever. I must be hearing things…

Cao Pi!

Sima Yi: Um? Cao Ren is a prost because he makes fun of people taller than him.

Cao Cao: Isn't that everyone?

All but Cao Ren: HAHAHA!

Cao Ren: Shut up! How would you feel if you were my height?

Sima Yi: SMART!

Cao Ren: Stupid smartass…

Sima Yi: (sarcastically) Someone is mad!

All: Hehe?

Sima Yi: Don't you like to make fun of people with 2 eyes Xiahou Dun?

All but Dun: HAHA!

Xiahou Dun: That's not true!

Sima Yi: I know. I was just being sexy.

Xiahou Dun: Whatever.

Sima Yi: You make fun of people who pick on Cao Cao!

All: What?

Sima Yi: Yeah! You'll do anything to protect your special cousin!

Cao Cao: I'm touched Xiahou Dun!

Xiahou Dun: …?

Xiahou Yuan: What about me? I'm a cousin too!

Sima Yi: You're short. No one recognizes you.

Xiahou Yuan: …(annoyed)

Sima Yi: Actually, I don't know who he makes fun of. That sucks…

Xiahou Yuan: hehehehe….

Sima Yi: Oh well…your gonna be the Lame Prostitute.

Xiahou Yuan: Whatever.

Cao Cao: Ok! Enough! You don't need to make fun of anyone else! This is getting ridiculous!

Sima Yi: I know! I'm the Super Duper Omega Atomic Prostitute!

Cao Cao: We all know!

Zhen Ji: Don't forget! He's also known as The Super Sexy Hoty Smartass!

Sima Yi: Thank you beautiful! You have touched me in places…

Cao Pi: WHAT?

All: HAHA!

Cao Cao: You guys are lucky you didn't get picked on.

Xu Huang, Pang De, Xu Zhu, Zhang Liao: Yeah…

Cao Cao: Luckyasses…

**I don't know…do you guys want me to change anything? Is it getting too "predictable?"**

**Just tell me…I just want things to be funny. But I think I'm doing this too much…**

**Do you think so?**

**Tell me on the reviews…. thanks a lot.**

**Just to know…I am a prostitute…(not the real one)**

**I am only one to those I know too well…lucky for all of you; I don't tend to make fun of any of you. Being nice to the public here!**


	13. Think You Are A?

Cao Cao: That was long before DarkDevil14 created another chapter for us!

Sima Yi: Yeah! Wait! Why am I happy?

Zhen Ji: Who cares! I'm ready for more action.

Cao Pi: hehehehehe…you slutty little girl!

Zhen Ji: Uhhh…that's gross. Maybe later.

All but Zhen Ji and Sima Yi: (wooting)

Zhen Ji: Oh My God!

Cao Cao: Anyways……after so long, well be back talking.

Sima Yi: (sarcastically) Whoopee.

Zhang He: My Lord! I've found a note!

Cao Cao: It says…

Hello my Lord. We have taken a vacation because DarkDevil14 ISN'T UPDATING SO WE HAVE GONE OUT OF THE CONTRY! We won't be back until a while. It's ok. No one will miss us. Bedsides, we aren't popular anyways!

Love, Cao Ren, Xiahou Brothers, Xhu Zu, Xu Huang, Dian Wei, Zhang Liao, and Pang De

WHAT A BUNCH OF ASSES!

Sima Yi: Who cares. No one misses them.

Zhang He: You're right. As long as we have the adorable Sima Yi here, we'll be fine.

Everybody starts to laugh but Sima Yi.

Sima Yi: Grrrr….you..!…Cao Cao, will you please just read the next word?

Cao Cao: hahaha! Fine fine…

Everybody but Cao Cao and Sima Yi: Awwww….

Cao Cao: Word of the Day…

**Piece of Shit**

Meaning: A (1) Useless object.

Plural: **Pieces of Shit **(More than 1 object)

Sima Yi: You guys are all pieces of shit! PERIOD!

Cao Pi: HOW DARE YOU CALL ME A PIECE OF SHIT!

Zhen Ji: Yeah! Who do you think you are?

Sima Yi: Anything but a piece of shit.

Zhang He: THAT MEANS HE'S MY LOVER!

Sima Yi: ANYTHING RELATED TO YOU and a Piece of shit!

Zhang He: Awww…but you said…

Sima Yi: SHAD UP!

Zhang He: That's not very nice to say.

Sima Yi: Well, I'm not a very nice person!

Zhang He became speechless.

Sima Yi: That's RIGHT! TTTHHHHAAATTSSS RIGHT!

Zhen Ji: No! You wanan know who's the piece of shit? CAO PI!

Cao Pi and Cao Cao: WHAT!

Zhen Ji: That's right! I thought that if he married me, he would help me around the palace! And even if she doesn't help, she still doesn't want to have…….

Sima Yi covered her mouth: ……_with me at night!_

Cao Pi: YEAH! We only did ONCE! And after that ONCE, I never wanted to do it again! WHY? Because you suck at it!

Zhen Ji breaks out of Sima Yi: Whatever! You were…

Everybody looks at her.

Cao Cao: Ohhh…….you got BURNED!

Zhen Ji: Whatever! I can do it better ALONE!

Sima Yi: UUUUUHHHHHGGGG!

Zhang He: Whoa! Not eve I, the BEAUTIFUL ZHANG HE, can do it better alone!

Cao Pi: If that's what you want…fine.

Zhen Ji: WHAT! Damn you piece of shit!

Cao Pi: You know I'm not useless! You know you want me.

Cao Cao: Cao Pi, I want you…

Before he can continue, everybody started to leave.

Sima Yi: Ummm…I needa go get my…dresses…dry cleaned.

Zhen Ji: I have to……go practice…doing it myself better…and…practice flute…

Zhang He: I have….to…read….BYE!

Nobody was left except Cao Cao and Cao Pi.

Cao Pi: Umm..I gotta find out how to get a better wife!

He leaves.

Cao Cao: WHAT? I SAID THAT I WANTED YOU TO RULE THE KINGDOM WHEN I'M GONE! WHAT! WHAT! I'M NOT GAY YOU DUMBASSES! OH MY GOD!

**Hehehe? Sorry for the long update, but life goes on….**

**Reason why I took the dudes out because it will take me forever to write them all, and they aren't that popular anyways. But if you want them back, you can just tell me on the reviews. Or Pm. Or Email. Or whatever….**

**This might be an update, but...I was just bored...and I don't usually get bored during the weekends. Probably felt...stupid. **

**Laters!**


	14. You Wanna?

Cao Cao: Those Bastards can get Killed for all I care! Their NEVER RETURNING!

Cao Pi: Oh No, Zhang Liao came back without the rest.

Cao Cao: Zhang Liao!

Zhang Liao: Yes sir?

Cao Cao: Why did you come back?

Zhang Liao: C'mon! After out 'vacation' they went to Playboy Mansion! I'm not gonna be stuck with perverted old men in a mansion full of almost-naked-women-wearing-bunny-suits! I'd rather come back to do this…Book of Bad Words thing if you were still doing it.

Cao Cao: Well, you're getting a reward for doing this. But I still think that you shouldn't have went on that vacation.

Zhang Liao: A Thousand Apologies My Lord.

Cao Cao: Who Cares then. Umm? I just wanted to say that our book is almost done!

Everybody Cheers.

Cao Cao: We'll have a final test though. I want to see if you had what it take to ACTUALLY remember these words.

Sima Yi: ALL OF THEM?

Cao Cao: Yes? All of them. What are you worrying about? You're the 'smart guy"

Sima Yi: Well? Err?…It's STUPID!

Cao Cao: Shut your mouth! You're gonna take it or be sent to the PlayBoy Mansion!

Sima Yi: UUUGGHH! YOU WISH! I'll FUCK YOU FOR THIS!

Cao Cao: Good Good. Now, out last word of the…. whatever is…

**Noguso **(It's Actually a Japanese Word Meaning 'To Take a Dump') 

Verb

Meaning: To Throw a Party

Example: I can't WAIT to Throw a Party! (I can't wait to Noguso!)

Cao Cao: What a goodie. You guys will throw a party AFTER THE FINALS!

Zhen Ji: Bull Shit dude!

Cao Cao: GET OUT!

Kitchen: Sima Yi, Cao Pi, and Zhen Ji 

Zhen: I wanna Noguso!

Pi: Then Noguso already….

Zhen: I HATE YOUR FATHER!

Pi: And you think I Don't!

Sima: You know, I think Noguso is a good idea…

Pi/Zhen: What?…

Sima Yi walks to the Fridge and got to some cupcakes, cake, juice, meat, and all that. He shoves it all into Zhen Ji's mouth, stuffing everything inside.

Pi: What the hell do you think you are doing!

Sima: She's gonna start complaining about Noguso if I don't' shut her up! HERE! HAPPY NOW! I JUST NOGUSO!

Zhen Ji had so much food inside her mouth that it was stretching it.

Sima: Happy New Year, for me that is! Muhahahaha!

Pi: Yeah. Let's go Noguso ourselves.

Cao and Sima just leaves Zhen in the kitchen…. helpless as she tries to eat all the food. But in time, she collapses to the floor.

Outside: Zhang Liao and Zhang He 

Zhang: Do you think that our Lord will Noguso for you?

Liao: For what? Returning home?

Zhang: Yeah? I mean, that IS a good thing.

Liao: It's just not good enough…. It's ok though…

Zhang: NONSENSE! I'll prepare one for you right now!

Liao: What?

Zhang He sets up a table for Zhang Liao, and then runs off to get ingredients. 10 minutes later, he comes back with a plate of Grass, dirt, mud, lake water, fungus, and worms. He pours the mud on top of the grass, mixes it and puts the worms on top of the mixed _salad. _With a cup, he mixes the fungus with the lake water and dirt.

Zhang: Enjoy…

Liao: WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING! I'M NOT GONNA EAT THIS!

Zhang: Well, I searched the Fridge, but it seems that we have run out of food. Poor person must have been hungry. But then I decided that the outside nature of life would provide you with a good meal!

Liao: **(frustrated**) Ok…Will YOU eat this?

Zhang: **(looks**) Of course….! But this is for you…you should eat this! Heh heh heh?

Liao: OVER MY DEAD BODY!

Zhang Liao grabs Zhang He and pours everything in his mouth and closes it shut.

Liao: I NOGUSO FOR YOU! ISN'T THIS FOOD GOOD?

Zhang: (**thoughs)** THIS ISN'T GOOD! MY TEETH WILL BE ALL BROWN!

Liao: I should have gone to the Playboy Mansion like a perverted man I should be.

He throws Zhang He down on the grown and leaves.

Zhang: ooh…..I hate Noguso.

Cao Pi, Sima Yi, and Zhang Liao meets in the Game Room.

Sima: What happened to Zhang He?

Liao: Don't ask. It's too gross to discuss.

Sima: Was he doing the 'do'?

Liao: Worse…He was…

Sima Yi: DON'T TELL ME! GOD! And I thought doing the 'do' was bad! HE GOES ALL THE WAY! DAMN!

Liao: No?….It was..

Sima: SHUT UP!

Cao: …

Liao: What happened to Zhen?

Cao Pi: We Noguso for her.

Liao: And where is she now?

Cao: Resting…. with her Noguso…Hahaha…

Liao: Oh…This was Lame.

Sima: Yeah! This is all Dark Devil's fault!

Dark Devil: Oh Yeah! You would have been dead if it was my fault!

Sima: Shut your trap little girl!

Dark Devil: Damn You Sima Yi! I'm so glad my favorite character is Ling Tong now!

Sima: Well, I'll have to kill Ling Tong now won't I?

Dark Devil: YOU BETTER NOT!

Sima: Try me! What can a little girl like you do to a smart evil guy like me!

Dark Devil: Humph!

Dark Devil picks up hands and starts typing…

Sima Yi disappears.

Cao Pi: I think I have an idea of where he went.

Liao: Where?

Meanwhile… 

Xiahou Dun: LOOK AT ALL THESE CHICKS!

Xu Huang: I think my quest for power lies here!

Cao Ren: You said it…

All the guys stare until…

Xiahou Yuan: Hey? Sima Yi? What are you doing here?

Sima Yi: OMG!…Is This….

Xu Zhu: Yep! PlayBoy Mansion!

Sima Yi: OH GOD TO HELL! DAMN YOU DARK DEVIL!

Xiahou Dun: Don't worry! There are a lot of girls here! You'll enjoy yourself…

As Dark Devil sees that he's being surrounded my lovely girls, she types….and Sima Yi disappears from the Gang.

Pang De: Wow…who cares! Oooo. Hey Lovely. My name's Pang De. What's yours?

Person: Ricky….

Pang De. Oh Shit…

…………

Sima Yi pops INSIDE the mansion, but…different.

Sima Yi asks someone: Hey? Where am I?

Person: Hey! Welcome to PlayGirl Mansion! You look pretty hot…Let's go have some fun!

Sima then realizes he's naked…

Sima Yi: DAMN YOU DARK DEVIL!


End file.
